the deed is done

At the time I start this, it is one minute to the first bell of the first day of kindergarden. Katie is safely delivered into the clutches of Mrs. Massey. We went out to breakfast at a little diner this morning, and my mom came out to see us. She was excited, ran out of steam before breakfast already, but then bacon, eggs, and toast perked her right back up.

I got her to the library about 7:20 - they want them there between 7 and 7:30 - the teacher picks the students up at 7:35. Katie wanted me to wait until her teacher got there, which I did. But I sat all the way across the library - she went straight to the kiddos watching Caillou. And then Mrs. Massey came into the room about 7:25, obviously with plenty to do on this first day, but as soon as Katie saw her, she felt comfortable enough for me to leave.

Now I am to swim. I did well today - teared up just a little as I made it out of the parking lot. I kept that emotion from Katie very well. Usually, I try to do the opposite, and make sure Katie sees my emotion because I hope it helps her feel more comfortable with her own. But this one time I decided it was best to be a picture of confidence. And, quite frankly, it has not been as hard as I expected. I know Becky wanted to be here perhaps more than any other day, and I miss her all the more today because of it. But at least it is now tempered with the confidence that she can do this, that I can do this. Becky would have loved to have been here, and was and would have been an amazing mother, but it is not as if Katie is neglected or deprived.

And so I have made it. And now to the pool!