lunch date

Dating as a widower is a crazy thing. I guess it is just so much more difficult than the last time I was single. Now there are children and careers and the emotional baggage that comes from being widowed or divorced or making it to our 30's unmarried. All of them have their own issues.

The biggest shock to me when I started dating is what a threat my first marriage has been to a lot of women. Not all, for sure, but enough to be startling. Especially among divorced women, I thought that having a successful marriage would be an attractive thing. But I guess it is also possible to be threatened by a ghost. They have wondered if it is even possible that I could love someone as much as I loved Becky. My thought is how could I not? When I fall in love again, it will be very different because it will be sadder and wiser. But it will also be different because of the appreciation I have for every day.

I keep flowers on the dining room table, get a boquet from the grocery store every week. And flowers are beautiful and smell better than cats and Katie likes them, too. But the main reason I get them is to understand how brief their time is. Affection must be renewed at every opportunity. Leo Buscaglia said something like that. I want to love now, for crying out loud, because I am not promised tomorrow.

So we shall see how the first date goes. Cathy and I were actually friends in high school, went to the same church and youth group. And now, 18 years later, e-harmony hooks us back up. So this has a different feel than many first dates because I do know her, and we have some sense of each other's history.

There is a young widow's lunch in Dallas tomorrow, but I don't think I am going to make it up there after thinking I would all week. I am sad about it; there are going to be some very cool people there that add a lot to my journey, but since my brother is not going to be there, it takes a lot of the appeal of the drive away. I still have a couple of hours to decide anyway. But now I must shave and shower. It is just lunch at a cool San Antonio burger joint - her choice, I probably would have picked something with more atmosphere, but I like the casual nature of the whole thing.

Happy Friday, everybody.