interested in dating again

For the first several weeks after breaking up with Cathy in the early part of December, I have been interested in dating again. I think emotionally I needed to get through my anniversaries as that is a very introspective time, and Christmas, our wedding anniversary, and Becky's birthday all happen quite quickly. It was just a couple of weeks ago we had the anniversary of diagnosis, and Valentine's Day will be the anniversary of her surgery that failed so miserably, and obviously in March the anniversary of her death.

So I think part of the longer delay than previously has been due to the fact that I am more reflective this time of year on those things than maybe in the summer and fall. And part of it is making sense of what happened with Cathy. Not that it was all that dramatic - in fact, there was as little drama as could be imagined, though perhaps that is indictment enough of how little of myself was really invested in that relationship.

And so I feel myself being back on the market, so to speak. I am interested again in the attractive women that surround me. After prior breakups, I have felt compelled to rush back into online dating, but not so this time. I don't know why; e-harmony has worked well for me insofar as I have met a host of attractive women that way including Cathy and Alisa among others. But for now I am just going it alone and seeing how that goes.

A powerful witness was made to me about this on Wednesday. I went to Bonnie's funeral - she had worked at our church a few years ago, and she died last week of breast cancer. Bill was there; he is also a widower and we have grown close in the last year and a half. He is also a member of our Friday morning breakfast gang. I think Anne died a couple of months before Becky. He has been in a relationship with Helen, also in her early 50's, I'd reckon, for several months.

I will finish this story later, just looked at the time and realize I need to go to bed.