two years ago today

It was two years ago today that we went to the zoo in Tyler. Katie's cousin Nickolas had come to spend a few days with us in Nacogdoches, and we went with the Stovalls to Tyler. We had lunch at Chuck E. Cheese, and we were all in such high spirits. Becky was without her oxygen in the restaurant, playing with Nick and Katie, putting them on carousel horses and showing just a ton of energy.

This day was an amazing day. At the zoo, we got a wheelchair for Becky to ride in because it was far too far for her to walk. But we had such fun. Katie has always loved the zoo, and we had gone to this zoo plenty in the 21 months we had been in Nacogdoches. And so we spent most of our time with her favorite animals there; the cheetahs and leopards and then back in the big exhibit where you could see the giraffes and elephants.

Sarah brought her camera, and we have plenty of pictures from that day. But this one is the one I love, the one that has brought me so much comfort for two years. This picture reminds me that even in the last days of this battle, we were happy. Stressed, of course, desperate for something to work to cure her, yes, but happy. It reminds me of the obvious love between mother and daughter, reminds me that Katie never saw Becky as anything other than Mommy, not sick or disabled or sad or dying.

For this picture, not even a thousand words would do it justice. This picture is one of the greatest gifts I have been given.

It is now less than two weeks until the two year anniversary. We are to the time where I can remember what we were doing everyday, almost every hour, so vividly. I am deep in the emotion right now; it is just bubbling out of me. Work has been somewhat more stressful than usual the last couple of weeks, though my guess is that my reduced efficiency from being so emotional is causing as much of the stress as anything else. It is different than last year, for sure, when I was partly in a fog and partly insisting to everyone how well I was doing. This year, I am not in a fog, though part of me wishes I were. And I am not insisting anything about anything.