The end of the innocence
I was out on a date tonight, and one of my favorite songs came on: The End of the Innocence by Don Henley. Here is the piece of the lyric I most relate to right now:
I’m learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I’m learning again
I’ve been tryin’ to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
I think he is right, it is about forgiveness. We somehow as widows have to make peace with the world, with our circumstances, with God, with our spouses for all the things that were left undone or unsaid. Death ultimately, I guess, is what impels us to live better; why bother to make amends today, why bother to forgive if we have an infinite number of tomorrows to do so. It is late, and I don't understand much, and tomorrrow I will probably understand less.
Good night.
posted by Curtis Ruder @ 2:21 AM
3 Comments:
I couldn't agree more. I'm finding myself at an angry stage now -- not angry at God or my DH, but at the rest of the world. And I don't seem to feel the need to censor -- I react with full force to whoever is in my path. I think that finding a way to forgive, rather than react, would be a very good thing for me.
I'm glad I found your blog again. It's good to read what you write.
Mary Beth
Curtis,
Just wanted to let you know that song you quoted by Don Henley is called "Heart of the Matter", not End of Innocence. That is a different Henley song. Heart of the matter is one of my all time favorites and brings me to tears every time.
I liked the blog and the quotes...no matter what the song. I am not widowed, but I lost a close friend to cancer earlier this year and now I am dating her husband. I often search out blogs like this to remind me where he is and what he is feeling so I am cautioned towards patience, compassion and friendship.
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