Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza

One of the most endearing or most annoying things about me is that I know the words to roughly every song on the radio, and I sing with it. You name it, I sing it. I have been like this as long as I can remember.

And sometimes I don't exactly know the words. One of the things that used to drive Becky crazy was making up words to songs just to be annoying. The one that we always used to fight about was the song "Voices Carry" from the early '90's, I reckon. It is a pretty terrible song, and the chorus goes something like, "Hush, hush. Keep it down now. Voices carry." And I always sang, "Hush hush, keep it down now, 'cause you're scary." Or "'cause you scare me." Quite frankly, I know that the lyrics say voices carry, but I would still swear to one of my versions every time I listen to it. And she used to get so mad at me.

The other song that leaps immediately to mind is Tiny Dancer by Elton John. "Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highway. Lay me down in sheets of linen. You had a busy day today." Anyway, it always seemed to me that he was singing "Hold me closer, Tony Danza." I used to drive Becky nuts by singing it that way.

Anyway, I have that song saved on my Sirius satellite radio, so that whenever it plays, the radio will beep at me. And so it comes on, and I am singing along, and after it ends, the DJ says, "How nice of Elton John to sing a song for Tony Danza." I just about drove my car off the road. And my shoulder felt an involuntary pain, just as if Becky had punched me from the passenger seat like she had done so many times before.