more about Everwood

I am now about 80% of the way through season two, and I just watched the episode where the town finds out that Dr. Linda has HIV, causing her to leave the practice, Ephraim to question Andy and express his fear, and ultimately Andy and Linda breaking up.

I remember watching this in 2003, and it is amazing how different my response is to it now compared to two years ago. I watched this while Becky was alive, and I didn't relate to the widower portion of the story yet. I saw a couple in love give up. I was so angry then because we were battling cancer and it was the most meaningful time of our love affair. If cancer brought us closer than we had ever been, why would they give up?

My response to this all is softer now. I guess I relate to being a single parent now and the fear that comes with that. I have to respect the fear for his own safety more. I would have risked anything to save Becky's life; now that she is gone, I must take my own health all the more seriously.

But more importantly, I have come to realize that in this stage of life, as parents, into our careers and so forth, it just isn't as easy as the last time I was single back in college. If I have been in love since Becky died, it was with Alisa, who I dated last summer and fall for a couple of months. It was a wonderful relationship, and ended beautifully too. Before dating her, I would have thought that just love would be enough. And I discovered with her that the challenges of careers and children and my grief journey and money and all of these things were more than we could manage despite the fact that I do believe that we did love each other.

And so I took it easier on Andy and Linda tonight. Probably more than anything it was Linda jumping ship to join Desperate Housewives that caused this plot shift. What a terrible career move that will turn out to be. But I can understand their reticence better now than I could when the episode first aired a couple of years ago.

Have I mentioned what a wonderful show this is?