All Saints' Day

We had our All Saints Day service at church today, and as usual it was quite good. Last year, it about ripped my guts out. The day before we had dedicated Becky's scholarship at Trinity, which had already taken plenty out of me emotionally. Catholics celebrate ASD on November 1 regardless of the day of the week, but evidently us Methodists pick a Sunday around that time to do it. So when I went to church that day, I didn't know to expect it, which made it all the more emotional.

So today was nothing like that, but it was a powerful service nonetheless.

I spent a lot of time thinking about it during and after the service. I remember quite vividly the Easter service. It was the day before the anniversary of Becky's death, and they called the kiddos up to the front of the church so John could talk to them. Usually Katie totally digs that stuff, but for whatever reason, she with so many of the kids didn't want to go up there. And so we went up there, and John talked about the meaning of Easter in very simple terms. He had his grieving collage, a series of pictures of people from his life who had died. And he talked about some of them. And he told the kids that Easter means that death doesn't get the final say. Easter is the promise that we will see those who have died again.

And so I sat in the pew thinking about that today. And at first, I thought, if I were preaching, I would say that same thing again.

But then again, I don't think I would. Easter means death doesn't get the final say. But it doesn't mean that death gets no say at all. Claiming that would be dishonest, because we hurt because of death. We overcome that pain as Christians with the hope that Easter provides. But it is right and good that we experience the pain of losing someone close first.

And so death had its say again this morning for a couple of hours. I did some crying and lit a candle and can't believe another month has come by; I am in the 20th month of this part of the journey now.

I think I like the Jewish tradition of the unveiling of the headstone on the Sabbath after the first anniversary of the death of a loved one. And yet at the same time I like the communal grieving that takes place on All Saints' Day.

And now to sleep.